This is a dedication and a thank you to the women who access the Prince George New Hope Society and to Christal Capostinsky for her vision of "New Hope".
I had the pleasure of being welcomed to sit on the Board at the Prince George New Hope Society when it began as a grassroots non-profit Society in 2005. After my roll as board member for little over a year, I resigned my position on the board so I can be more involved in the infiltration of the mandate and mission the society had to offer. I was then free to be invited to do some presentations and workshops for the women who accessed the center - such as body awareness, breathing excercise and healing massage, as well as helping to co-facilitate a creative writing group, utilizing my poetry and singer / songstress "hats".
New Hope Is On The Rise
by HaliJo Webster
Silent Night, Candle Bright
We stand tall, A fist full of might
Hand in Hand Brother, Sister won't fall
Shouting out, EQUAL GLORY FOR ALL!
A New Hope is on the Rise!
A New Hope is on the Rise!
Silent Night, Candle Bright
Survivors' strengths,
the ties that bind
Weeping souls we gather in pain
We will honor each face and the names
A New Hope is on the Rise!
A New Hope is on the Rise!
Silent Night, Candle Bright
Round support, let nothing divide.
Voices carry to others beside.
Sharing memories our minds collide
A New Hope is on the Rise!
A New Hope is on the Rise!
Silent Night, Candle Bright
We stand tall, A fist full of might.
Hand in Hand Brother, Sister won't fall
Shouting out, EQUAL GLORY FOR ALL!
A New Hope is on the Rise!
A New Hope is on the Rise!
© HaliJo Webster, Dec 2006
Merry-Go-Round Of Circle Sisters
by HaliJo Webster
~ Part 1 ~
A merry go round of survivors and Womanly power,
not yet obtained through a belief that
all are worth it.
I wish to remove the thoughts that are
blocking the energies of my fellow sisters
so they may take what is rightfully theirs.
Prides and prejudices placed on them by the selves
arriving from learned self oppressions our society delivers to us
starting with our first care givers
disguised as harmony and good for all
resulting in death to the voices of Women in this white male society,
and from a bashing of community ignorances and stereotyped ideologies
of those too righteous to look up and away from
their side of the walk.
Too boxed in to even phathom the idea we are all one!
My sisters,
With the ability to love and forgive, survive by
mistrusting their own feelings and the voice inside
that could, if allowed,
bring solace and warmth for their souls to just be.
My fellow sisters in this circle,
together our sights set on now, but for some
the next
is so habitually a must or
a have to
and a curse
a symptom of a life from trauma, addictions abuse, survival sex
and being a Woman.
Time... even little... seems long for some.
Merry go round merry go round...
I feel a loss for the connection in ill health,
binding the ties I once had to my respected twisted sisters.
The identifiable is now a once was.
I have entered the crossroads of wellness and meditative practices in Zen
being aware of the 'then' and riding gently in the 'now'
somtimes I push
but am aware of the resistance I receive back.
A guilty pleasure and peace of knowing
resides in my being as I acknowledge my own transitions
in this jungle of energized confusion and circle of my sisters.
Symbols, phrases, behaviors of what was is still now
but,
not for me.
There is no backwards
However; I as a being on this plane am no more forward either.
There is too much suffering.
As a whole, each being who is deflated by human traits,
the dark heroic, and ugly, is also in my flesh to bare
and
every Woman who suffers is my grass roots and foundation.
My voice is their voice.
Their's mine.
These voices in this worldly circle have
validity,
power,
and the rawness of brutal honesty!
Deliverers of toxic fearlessness,
that make some humans who wish to remain unconscious cringe,
and
elude this barrier of beliefs.
Not in MY back yard!
Merry go round merry go round...
I have passed the sickness and the old survivor
self
that needs to belong to an unhealthy addictive world
and the fence is no longer a teeter-totter...
Once an addict is NOT always an addict,
but,
I will forever know what that option is about,
and it will be an educated decision to choose.
It is in my cell structure and will not be forgotten.
It is in my body's resume and epitaph of luxury or loss.
I stand on the other side of old survivor self
feet grounded, sometimes sideways on a wall.
Nevertheless, feet are standing.
I feel the loss of protective family in the circle of
harley-leathered strengths and motly crew of the
mindless circus of the underground, and my sister survivors.
but,
this is a sign of health!
A growing pain of wisdom gained.
I no longer get energized from that place of
old survivor validation,
and rightfully so.
I do feel a sense of belonging as a distant knowing spectator
and acknowledge a respectful 'been there'
and you too can arrive here!
My body stays clean with health.
I can empathize with those still in pain, confusion,
and cyclical old survivor patterns.
I remain attached to the struggle and encourage,
learn,empathize and support
as I watch individual evolutions
take flight in awe.
~ Part 2 ~
Merry go round merry go round..
where is the door?
Who holds the key?
I do! I do!
My voice is a result of empathy and care of
encouraging forces of healthy community Women.
I feel no guilt for my evolution...
my suffering has dissipated
and anger re-directed.
The system is backwards!
I move forward, shuffling, shifting, gauging,
scratching, wiggling, climbing, running,
still searching for the baseline in an abnormal unbalanced
white male system dominated in this society.
Merry go round, merry go round...
sisters hand in hand,
where is that promised land?
I am finding my place, not sitting too long,
feeling, writing, singing,
shouting my way through this course
of ongoing conflicts and resolutions.
I am clean,
battles of oppression and suppression exsist at another level.
White collar, fresh young academic know-it-alls with arrogance
and ignorance up their behinds
with the answers to why
homelessness, addictions, abuse, survival sex and prostitution exist,
plus theories of how it can, should, and must be stopped,
with no acceptance of the reality of those
who are the actual victims, survivors.
Having never tasted the fear, blood, fist, ripped vagina,
torn anus, tied and gagged bondage, penis shoved down throat,
Hep C, H.I.V, A.I.D.S, pipe, needle, toke, snort, lube, non-lube,
cysts, moon times with no sanitary hygiene products,
eating other people's food that has been tossed
feeling grateful for their waste,
suvival theft, HUNGER!
emotional frigidity as a safety mechanism and date rape.
Experiential voices are the linking keys to the healing,
the doors have to be accessable and available.
Just try walking on my sidewalk for a day!
My voice, now empowered...
comfortably and some days
still shaky
at the truths of the barriers I face.
Sharing strengths of community bonds, and my past,
wishing to bridge and house doorways to exit from 'what was'
and to enter into front line work
or to just visit awhile!
~ Part 3 ~
My acute recovery is past
but my re-discovery has begun!
Feeling my way through and not resisting my own emotional upsets
no longer
all are guides.
Being open to them is a welcome challenge.
I chose,
No MISTAH old fart to give me a ride.
The tricks are over!
Scoring is for healthier games.
No pill, no injection, no cut, no bag of junk food, no finger down throat,
no exlax, no sex ride killing cravings and no drink to numb
this emotional roller guide of lessons, that
I NOW habitually seek and get high from...
Progressive batteries of reality is the fuel in which life
has become a myriad of pleasurable challenges exchanges and lessons...
Merry go round, merry go round
to a straight ride of other bubbled nuances of my journey's continuation.
There is life after the exit, and chains of addiction and abuses.
It is just a different
Merry go round, merry go round!
A system to challenge and change,
I look around and I am not alone!
I am not crazy!
Other sisters are here to extend the chain link,
together we are making a difference!
I deserve to be loved and a part of this world,
to have safe havens
to voice my opinions
and given opportunities to be accepted, respected and heard.
and so do you, my sisters...
on every level where-ever you are on your journey.
Merry go round
May we go round.
May we all
go round together!
© HaliJo Webster, Jan 2007
