Recharging The Discarded Self
by HaliJo Webster

Today I walk with a wiggle and a snap
there is a slight smile visiting the face
and it feels okay.

where a frown and fearing character was
comfortable shaping my face to angry depths
of new formed wrinkles and earned growing pain lines
I am less anxious... but,
stepping carefully and with awareness.

I notice a jovial dance in the core
of being the child at play with a new character
who is growing the adult I am winging into

again :)

I have once again been guided to awaken
another foundation and reconnection
of what was, to why I react, and who I am
answers, to questions and
questions that awaken more questions
arriving to more aswers
to freedom
yet I am still at the doorway
not quite through
and this is okay.

like a child's mind
I am...
A sponge to the new-kindled forces of transformations
from the motherlands, fatherlands, child playgrounds
to adult pretending to be grown up relationship sandbox
battles and continuations of
finding the characters to finish this unresolved play
that has been dormant in a destructive space that has cut off my entitlement to
BE HERE!
without a doubt!

Time is not seasonable in healing the mind's synapses
to a metamorph of being that which is un-ravelling
nor is perfection relavent to the core of truths from
the ego of human drama and emotions that can stunt the growth
of the 2-legged that have consciousness.
The motherlands, the fatherlands and their ancestors who
worked diligently and unknowingly at finishing their unresloved suffering
with bloodline claws that weaved together family patterns of unhealthy cycles
holding in its bondage the answers to the agony of the riddles of
WHY I am,
not WHO.

The scientific "What The Bleep Do We Know" ripples of possiblities
from that which is not material is endless.
Endless waves of possiblities.
I like that.

Yet, I am human and am in a drama that needs to be played out.

For now, that which is emotional has been my informants
but, not my descriptive captures of who imprisoned my
being to a stuck state of fear!

To my inner child?

Ah, little one, I am here for you.
There is no 'then' that is greater than 'now',
together we will heal at our own pace
and build our own safe sanctuary
through the shelters of women
who have been there and here before.

We are not alone, but, can learn to stand alone
when ready.
We can also fall in our own cradle warmth
instead of reaching to those who harm us,
for we are safe in loving our own-ness
for we are not broke, we are loving and
are lovable,

just the way we are.

© HaliJo Webster, August 2008